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Tips

marriage-after-kids

Before I had kids, everyone told me that marriage + kids = HARD.

Little naïve me did an internal eye roll each time I heard this and thought to myself: how hard could it really be? I mean, we’d survived a couple of things in our marriage at that point, so why would kids upset the apple cart?

It turns out they were right of course, and having our two boys certainly did have an impact on our relationship.

Now, I am by no means an expert, but with my oldest having just turned seven and marital bliss still (mostly) intact, here are some tips to negotiate the rocky road:

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discussing-money

I remember as a child being told, “We can’t afford it.”

I’ve heard myself say to my children, “We can’t afford it.”

It confounded me when I heard it and I didn’t feel right when I said it, so I made a conscious decision to stop saying it.

I thought more deeply not only about what information I was passing on, but also what attitude and what picture of a relationship with money I was modeling.

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second-pregnancy-different

Next year our three becomes four. We are elated… and a tad terrified. During my first pregnancy I remember reading and researching, pondering the changes in my body and the growth of the baby inside, leisurely perusing the literature and rubbing my belly. This time around has already been a very different experience. I’d love to share with you five ways my second pregnancy is different from my first.

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reclaim-loss-motherhood

It all started with a banana in my handbag. A squishy, “ready for banana bread” kinda banana. Packed as an emergency snack and then forgotten. To add insult to injury, I also found two stinky socks, deep in the recesses of said handbag. This all led to a mini mum meltdown. I felt like throwing myself on the floor, screaming. Was even my handbag not mine anymore? Was there anything left that I hadn’t given up, sacrificed or left on the back burner just because I decided to have children?

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childhood-wonder

There is something really precious and sweet, lost on our way from childhood to adulthood, isn’t there?

Something big, invisible, beautiful and powerful, something along the lines of innocence and boldness and joy.

Maybe it’s the reason we think of childhood as such a magical time, the reason we look at children with envy, and melancholy and tears in our eyes.
And I wonder… I wonder how we get a glimpse of this fleeting gold in our souls again.

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cultivate-calm

Summer is here. Which means the birds are singing, the weather is warm, and kids no longer *need* shoes outside. But with this newfound freedom (you’re welcome, toes) comes the chaos of the season. Unstructured days bring unpredictability, frustrations, and a great need for a few minutes of calm.

So here are 4 ways to cultivate calm in your home this summer:

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baby-sleep-night

“He’s been sleeping through since 6 weeks”. My jaw dropped and my heart sank. I thought a baby that slept all night was a mythical creature- like a unicorn, or an Au Pair. I wanted to be happy for her, truly I did, but those words stung. I made mental swats at the self-doubts that began buzzing around my mind. I was coping with our sleep situation in my own way, but I was jealous.

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wish-understood-before-becoming-a-mother

This post originally appeared on Her Happy Heart.

Yes, you heard me right. I am a well-seasoned mother of a handful of months, offering out advice in reminiscent form.

But what inspired me to write this post was the absurd number of friends I know who are about to pop with their first little ones, and because I basically gave birth two minutes ago, I feel like I have a super fresh perspective on that immediate change of lifestyle.

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