I discovered a new song this weekend and it instantly became a firm favourite.
You might know it too, “Shadow Step” by Hillsong United.
Driving in the car listening to this on top volume today (I was by myself and it was pure bliss), it made me reflect on the meaning of the “shadow step” in the song. To me it was symbolic of stepping into a shadow, an unknown area, a new place, not yet sure what you’ll find or if it is going to work, but trusting God with the process.
I could relate this back to motherhood immediately.
Flying across an ocean is a great equalizer.
But what I find most interesting about these flights, is the way people interact with the little ones around them.
I give up. This life is hard. I am tempted daily to fall back into the sin where you found me. My words are used, not to encourage and build up, but to try and assert my agenda, my rightness, and to pursue my own selfish desires. Instead of being busy about your work, I’ve hidden behind my me time and busied myself with silly, temporal pursuits.
You’ve called me to reach out my hands to the poor, but instead, I’ve grasped tightly to my material possessions. You’ve called me to love others before myself, but I’ve instead spent days conniving how to get them to love me as much as I love me. My time has not been offered at your feet, but on the altar of consumerism, narcissism, and intellectualism.
The following is an excerpt from the upcoming devotional, “His Name Shall Be Called.” Click here to sign-up to receive a personal copy of the ebook upon its release (it’s free!).
We’re a pretty messed up people. After about 30 seconds of television, it is easy to see. Our world is full of bombings, shootings, and other atrocities. Even those of us who are “good” still really aren’t that great. Greed, lust, and self-interest mark our existence. We need something to atone, to make-up for all of our shortcomings. We need a God-sized savior.
I’ve been teaching a 3-year-old the New City Catechism.
It was a supposed to be a lesson for her. I was going to systematically go through the questions and answers that explained our faith so that she would be a well-learned member of the church. I imagined that she would hide these little answers in her heart and when she was old would be able to recollect these little truths hidden inside.
Self-care has become an idol for many of us. Don’t get me wrong: we absolutely need to care for ourselves. Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. Neglecting that temple would be wrong. So yes, we need to care for it. But more than that, we need to pour ourselves out in love and honor the call of the Holy Spirit.
I am the first to take time to binge watch on Netflix in the name of self-care. Make-up is a passion of mine. I can spend hours pouring over a book while my kitchen sits dirty. Neglecting myself is not something I’m likely to do. Neglecting those around me is.
I have enjoyed the privilege of becoming an aunt again twice in the past few months. A sweet little baby boy and baby girl have filled their lungs with air and made their voices known to the world. And our family is rejoicing.
As I gaze on these little lives, I want to take my role as aunt seriously. I want to be intentional about the time I have with them and about the privilege God has gifted me. So I search the scriptures and try to find examples of how non-mothers effected the lives of little ones.
I am currently sitting in my almost one-year old son’s room, curled up on his rocking chair, with his heater powering through the cold chill in the air. His breathing gently breaks into a weirdly adorable child-snore every six or seven breaths; he mumbles gibberish in his dreaming, while reaching out a sleeping hand to fumble for his dummy in the dark. The same piano gospel lullabies he’s listened to every night since birth are chiming gently through the spluttering of the warm vaporiser, while traffic rumbles around on one of the main roads in what seems like a million miles from the stillness here.
These were the upgrades I signed up for when I became a mum, or so I imagined.
I like surprises. When we got married I let my husband plan our whole honeymoon and delighted in being whisked away without a clue where we’d end up or what we’d do. I really enjoy the injection of the unexpected into everyday life.