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Baby

ponderings-stillness

I am currently sitting in my almost one-year old son’s room, curled up on his rocking chair, with his heater powering through the cold chill in the air. His breathing gently breaks into a weirdly adorable child-snore every six or seven breaths; he mumbles gibberish in his dreaming, while reaching out a sleeping hand to fumble for his dummy in the dark. The same piano gospel lullabies he’s listened to every night since birth are chiming gently through the spluttering of the warm vaporiser, while traffic rumbles around on one of the main roads in what seems like a million miles from the stillness here.

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motherhood-ready

I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready to be a mum.

I have always loved the idea of having children. I grew up with a sister and a small group of friends with big families. We went on a ton of vacations, visited extended family interstate often, celebrated every single birthday and, as I got older, family life only became deeper and more tight-knit as we worked through the throes of adulthood together. I knew I wanted to have my own children one day: two, and preferably girls (mainly so I could forcibly pass on all of my beautiful barbie dolls to them).

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becoming-mum-child

Responsible.

Reliable.

Strong.

These were the upgrades I signed up for when I became a mum, or so I imagined.

I like surprises. When we got married I let my husband plan our whole honeymoon and delighted in being whisked away without a clue where we’d end up or what we’d do. I really enjoy the injection of the unexpected into everyday life.

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baby-sleep-night

“He’s been sleeping through since 6 weeks”. My jaw dropped and my heart sank. I thought a baby that slept all night was a mythical creature- like a unicorn, or an Au Pair. I wanted to be happy for her, truly I did, but those words stung. I made mental swats at the self-doubts that began buzzing around my mind. I was coping with our sleep situation in my own way, but I was jealous.

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wish-understood-before-becoming-a-mother

This post originally appeared on Her Happy Heart.

Yes, you heard me right. I am a well-seasoned mother of a handful of months, offering out advice in reminiscent form.

But what inspired me to write this post was the absurd number of friends I know who are about to pop with their first little ones, and because I basically gave birth two minutes ago, I feel like I have a super fresh perspective on that immediate change of lifestyle.

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self-care-tips-first-day-home-newborn

Bringing home a newborn baby for the very first time is an experience like no other. It’s wonderful – your home is now a family home, where millions of memories, big and small, are about to unfold. It’s scary – you’ve never in your life had such a vulnerable little person be so dependent on you. It’s beautiful – you’re learning to love in a new, fierce way. And it’s exhausting – nothing can prepare you for it.

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time-sent-home-newborn

This post originally appeared on Her Happy Heart.

My son, Jackson, is a week and a half out from his first birthday. To me, that is insane. I won’t bore you with the cliched comments of “Time passes so quickly” (though it does) or “Please stop growing up, baby boy!” (but seriously…) Maybe it’s the fact that I’m spending all my time on Pinterest for 1st birthday party inspo, maybe it’s because my bestie has just brought her own tiny man into the world, maybe it’s a combination of the two and goodness knows what else.

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