Dear God, I Give Up
I give up. This life is hard. I am tempted daily to fall back into the sin where you found me. My words are used, not to encourage and build up, but to try and assert my agenda, my rightness, and to pursue my own selfish desires. Instead of being busy about your work, I’ve hidden behind my me time and busied myself with silly, temporal pursuits.
You’ve called me to reach out my hands to the poor, but instead, I’ve grasped tightly to my material possessions. You’ve called me to love others before myself, but I’ve instead spent days conniving how to get them to love me as much as I love me. My time has not been offered at your feet, but on the altar of consumerism, narcissism, and intellectualism.
But God, I’m giving it up again today and placing it at your feet.
I am giving up my pride, and seeking again Your glory. Instead of seeking a home that is filled with the stuff of magazines, I’m am pursuing again a home that is filled with grace. Instead of worrying about folding laundry, I’m going to worry about enfolding the oppressed and the broken-hearted into Your Church.
I’m surrendering again, the sin I know is bound up in my heart and asking Your grace to cover my day.
May I live today as the hands and feet of Christ towards my family. May I be known first and foremost as a bearer of the love of God.
But God, I need Your help.
I don’t have to go very far before I fail. I need coffee just to wake my tired body in the morning but I need so much more than that to wake my weary Spirit.
Instead of encouraging me to try harder, You come alongside me to gently restore my heart. You are working my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that seeks after Your heart.
And during all of the time I’m in this in-between phase, help me to rely on Your promises. Bring friends into my life who point my eyes to you when life looks unbearable. Let me be apart of a vibrant Church that reminds me of the grace you’ve bestowed on my life. And when I’m falling, when I’m just so tired of carrying the path towards holiness, please surround me with people who love to enough to gently call me back to Your truths.
You’ve promised that You would renew the strength of those who hope in You (Isaiah 41).
So here I am, hoping, praying, trusting, that You will give me strength to run well the race that You’ve set before me. Let each and every breath be an used to point those around me to Your saving grace.
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,[c] being born in the likeness of men.”
– Philippians 2:1-7, ESV
So, instead of giving up the good fight, help me to give up myself for the person you are forming me to be. Let me daily focus not what my eyes see, but the image of Your Son.
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Bailey Suzio’s journey started out in Michigan, where she grew up as the oldest of 10 (yes, ten) children, and has led her to Hawaii with her husband and their two dogs. In addition to her love for the Lord and her family, her great passions are coffee and collecting an exorbitant amount of books. Bailey has spent the last few years teaching and working with a local church. She writes at http://thethinplace.net/ about her life, faith, and infertility journey.