I have been a mother for just over 6 and a half years. You would think that by now I have sorted through my thoughts and emotions about the biggest project I have ever undertaken. That by now I would feel confident in this enormous role and that I would be able to easily tell you what exactly motherhood means to me.
I can’t though.
It is way too complex and layered and literally leaves me speechless sometimes. It is without a doubt the most extreme thing I have ever experienced. It has cut me open and exposed me, my weaknesses, but also my strengths. It has introduced me to a love I have never felt before and is incomparable to any emotion I have encountered prior to the birth of my first child.
Recently I did have a bit of a light bulb moment though. I gave the following advice to a brand new mother: “Motherhood is amazing. Enjoy every moment. Let it bring new definition to your life, but do not allow it to define you. You are still you, even if you are hidden under mountains of nappies, burp cloths and dirty onesies.” It sounded like good advice at the time and probably still is, but after I said it and ruminated on it for a while, I realised that motherhood does define me and has been doing so for a long time. BUT, it isn’t bad news. On the contrary, I am totally fine with it. For a long time I have been looking for my voice. Trying to figure out who and what I am. After some soul-searching, I have finally come to terms with the fact that firstly and above all, I am a mother. Even though I am aware that this is just a season in my life, that I am not going to mother with the same effort by the time my boys are in their 30’s (I hope not!), I also cannot argue away the fact that nothing else in my life so far has given me more purpose, more drive and made me more passionate. It truly is the main reason I get up in the morning. Of course I have many other things in my life that inspire me, but if I have to choose the main thing it always comes back to motherhood. This also does not mean that I have forgotten about “me”, it doesn’t mean that I self-sacrifice to a point that I feel lost in my own identity. It simply means that mothering is currently my main priority, my biggest “job” and the badge I wear with the most pride.
Being a mother has made me a better person. It has revealed flaws in my character that I can now work on. It has tested me, but also showed me that I am stronger and more resourceful than I ever knew. I feel important and valued (and a bit scared) that I was chosen to raise two human beings in such a way that they can go out and make the world a better place. I grew clusters of cells to beautiful pink babies, kept them alive and chubby solely on a substance my body produced and it has humbled me and left me in awe. I feel so blessed to have been able to experience this.
Motherhood is intense and beautiful. It can be dark and lonely and a couple of days later it can be pure sunshine. I don’t think it can be properly defined. All I know is that every day, when I open my gratitude journal, the first thought that always pops up is this: “Thank you for my beautiful, healthy boys and thank you for the privilege of being their mother.”
Motherhood simply means the world to me.
Magda is a mother, budding entrepreneur and a dabbler in words. She is originally from South Africa, but Perth became home in 2015. Her happy place is spending time with her husband and two boys, all 3 of them redheads! Most of her spare time goes into washing underpants and putting down toilet seats, but if there’s any left, you will find her with her nose in a book. Other passions include coffee and chocolate and sometimes she runs too. She loves encouraging women to be authentic, ignore the opinions of others and to become the best possible version of themselves.